Sing me something soft, sad and delicate

 This Mother Teresa gig is getting boring
when was i given the part as the saint?
the one afraid to ever take that chance to take that extra risk
should i show affection?or just feed onto the awkward silence

I was somehow handed the wrong hand in this deal.
Jokers card being kept in my deck,
Brainwashed by the images on screen
believing there was this odd word as emotion
or better yet,with even more insanity...love

why dont i just learn to give up
instead of allowing myself to be tasted and spit out
as if i was some wine that was terribly dry
letting my own denial coat my insides

To hear my voice is a priviledge
but some take that for granted
to hear my voice is to witness something open up in me
but with one action...it decides hybernate
killing yet again another cell of my self esteem

If you were to just hear the insanity that occurs in my head
thoughts of false images and insecurities bouncing from side to side


Mind waves of confusion and mistrust
awkwardness and lust
Thoughts collide in my mind, so many at one time
I crash and choose the easier route, innocense.

and the headlines will read.....

the lonliness we create for ourselves tends to overwhelm me at time
where did i ever go wrong?
I sit here, starring at a manifesting screen
swicthing back and forth from addiction to addictio
my mind begging for the attention others recieve
but with each refresh button i clock,
i just get more evidence to how useless i am

i know i am loved
i have friends
but with most of them i feel as if i'm taken for granted
that i can be pushed the corner in the back of thier minds so fast
being a little reminder of what the pathetic looks like
and be the annoyance in thier eventful lives that tend to exclude me from

is it wrong to starve for attention
especially when you've gone almost 20 years minus it
cant the quiet get their turn to be the center of attention?
i guess not